Tag: language

PICNIC and PEBKAC

A coworker threw this acronym at me today and I can’t believe I haven’t heard before…

PICNIC – Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.

I’ve always liked the term PEBKAC, which describes the same problem, but I think I may have to adopt PICNIC just because it’s easier to say.

PEBKAC – Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

Either of these acronyms describe a problem which despite initially being blamed on a computer/network/server/program is actually caused by the user, often by misuse or a complete lack of understanding of how the software is used. Preferred solution: remove user.

language, acronym, buzzword, terminology, technology

New Word Contest

Like George Carlin words are an interest of mine, not a hobby, hobbies cost money. When my mother sent me these results from a Washington Post contest I knew I’d have to share.

The contest invited readers to take a word from the English language and by adding, removing or changing only one letter create a new word. The results are pure genius.

The following are reposted from the Washington Post. I’ve stared (*) my favorites.

Fifth Runner-Up: Foreploy*: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Fourth Runner-Up: Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Third Runner-Up: Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Second Runner-Up: Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. (David Genser, Arlington)

First Runner-Up: Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous “Surrender Dorothy” on the Beltway overpass. (Robin D. Grove, Arlington)

And the winner of the two-foot-high baby bottle:

Sarchasm*: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Necronancy: communication with the late Ernie Bushmiller. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Coiterie: a very very close-knit group. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Whitetater: a political hot potato. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Impotience*: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh pit. (Philip Delduke, Bethesda)

Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Stupfather: Woody Allen. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

DIOS: the one true operating system. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Inoculatte*: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Thripp: a bug. (Bee Perrin, Washington)

Hipatitis: terminal coolness. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Writer’s tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Guillozine: a magazine for executioners. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

Osteopornosis*: a degenerate disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Adulatery: cheating on one’s wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Emasculathe: a tool for castration. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like a serious bummer. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man’s front pocket. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Glibido: all talk and no action. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Antifun gal: a prude. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Eunouch: the pain of castration. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett park)

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

Hozone: the area around 14th Street. (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

Acme: a generic skin disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Dopeler effect*: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Intaxication*: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Newtspaper: the Washington Times. (Fil Feit, Annandale)

Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool. (Elizabeth Monte, Fairfax)

Synapple: a perfect beverage to accompany brain food. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Socceur: the proper spelling of the sport for the next four years, alas. (Kevin Eade, Columbia)

And Lust: an unseemly craving for this position in the column. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

word, fun, funny, wordplay, definition, language, english

Cat Herding

In 2000, EDS, a major information technology and business firm took the term “cat herding” and ran with it for this fantastic super bowl commercial, but what does cat herding mean?

The term is used to draw a parallel between cats, who are inherently independent and difficult to control, and IT workers, who are inherently independent and difficult to control. Anyone with a cat of their own probably has a good idea what I’m talking about. In a more broad sense, herding cats refers to getting different people or groups to coordinate on a goal.

Carla Emmons sums it up nicely:

Herding cats implies the futility inherent in a position as an IT manager.

In a modern IT shop it is quite literally impossible for a manager to know everything about their employees’ jobs and I believe that is the main cause of this precieved futility. To try to understand and control everything your employees are doing is just as bound to fail as trying to get your cat to come when you call its name. The good IT managers know it, the best ones embrace it.

So what is an IT manager to do? I think effective cat herding boils down to just these three things…

  1. Hire good people
  2. Get them the resources they need to do their jobs
  3. Protect them from the politics and metawork as much as possible

Remember, cat herding (IT management) isn’t about your own goals or job fulfillment, it’s about allowing your employees to reach their full potential.

funny, comercial, super bowl, it, it management, project management, buzzword, office lingo, language, definition

Definition: Chegg

Chegg
n.
A situation where there are two things, each of which are dependant upon the other in order to exist, thus causing the paradoxical question of which came (or must come) first. Derived from the question “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Example: You need experience to get a job; however you need a job to get experience.

Origin: Jon Graton, Plymouth State University; Plymouth, NH

office lingo, buzzword, buzzwords, language, definitions