The Funny Music Project

The FumpLike funny music, novelty songs and parodies? Check out The FuMP, The Funny Music Project. They post a new, hilarious song every few days and to catch up you can check out their archives.

I heard of this site from the CNET Buzz Out Loud podcast who mentioned the song Dead Nintendo by Possible Oscar on yesterdays podcast. I think my current favorite would have to be She’s Underage by Seamonkey.

If you want to get their picks as they come out you can even use their rss feed with the software of your choice. It’s like a little taste of Dr. Demento every few days.

parody, music, filk, humor, funny, hilarious, silly, strange, songs, free music

The Tao of Oracle

What follows is just a small taste of the 37 page PDF which is The Tao of Oracle.

Something is mysteriously formed,
Born before heaven and Earth.
In the silence and the void,
Standing alone and unchanging,
Ever present and in motion.
Perhaps it is the source of all code and data.
I do not know its name
I therefore call it the Tao of Oracle.

Truncate your mind.
Let the SGA become still.
The ten thousand transactions rise and fall
while the rollback watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the disk.
Returning to the source is stillness,
which is the way of the Tao.

The instance has crashed.
I am the ORA 600.
No one hears your screams.

The bug you seek
Is found on Metalink.
You click the reference,
but it is non-published.

Roby Sherman at Interealm Software Imagineering did this “translation” of the Tao. The only thing that could possibly make this funnier would be if version 2.1 were referred to as 3T or some other seemingly arbitrary number and letter.

via Don Burleson.

humor, oracle, dba, geek, funny

Upgrade are failed!

While applying a firmware upgrade to my Linksys WRT54G router today I encountered the following error:

Upgrade are failed!

This is right up there with “All your base are belong to us!”

On the up side, Linksys support was fairly helpful. Despite asking me “Have you tried to check the memory of your computer?” and “Have you tried to change the browser settings?” (those are exact quotes from the live chat) they got me to a download of the firmware that worked.

Overall, for $50 (on Amazon) the Linksys WRT54G router has been a damned solid and easy to configure wireless router with the nice benefit of four wired ports (in addition to the uplink.)
error message, funny, fun, humor, bad translation, bad english, engrish, router, wireless, internet

Stop spam comments

While Akismet does a great job catching most of the spam that comes to my blog through comments (it’s successfully stopping around 500/day lately) it remains less than perfect. In his typically pithy manor Don Burleson has come up with a solution.

Forget about those images full of letters that are so wavy and distorted that humans can’t even read them. Don has come up with a more creative way to verify that there’s a living, breathing human on the other side of the cloud. Don’s questions are so sophisticated they can even verify that the person has a similar political outlook to yours.

Verification question

Check out the full article on Don’s site for several more great examples.

spam, blog, blogging, funny, humor

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick – Book Review

Why would you want to follow a true bonehead through a chapter of his life in corporate America? Because it’s hilarious.

The Management Secrets of T. John DickIn the book “The Management Secrets of T. John Dick: a truly professional novel by Augustus Gump” we are taken into the world of the title character, the Marketing Manager of SuperPumps, Inc. Marketing Manager at a company like SuperPumps, a flagging pump manufacturer, is a tough job, but T. J. is committed to its success. T. J.’s unique gift of organization (his secretary can quickly find any needed files in his office) and vision (two words, “mission statement”) make him a great leader in his own mind, but perhaps his greatest strength is pointing out what his greatest strength is… which is just about everything according to T. J.

“One of the secrets behind my management success is to keep a very tidy desk. I always emphasize the importance of this to my team and make sure to set an example with my own desk. Half an hour each morning and evening arranging papers, writing utensils, calculator etc. is time well spent in my opinion, and American business would run more smoothly and efficiently if more people realized the value of a tidy desk.”

We’ve all hear of the Peter Principle which proposes that an employee will rise to the level of their incompetence. Unfortunately the Peter Principle falls short in describing the main character of “The Management Secrets of T. John Dick”. To do proper justice to this character we would need a new principle, the Dick Principle. The Dick Principle would have to state that “Once an employee has exhausted their advancement in accordance with the Peter Principle it is possible, largely due to a lack of proper accountability in upper level positions, for them to advance even further and faster.”

A quick and fun read, “The Management Secrets of T. John Dick” won’t teach you how to be a more effective manager, but it’s sure to amuse those who deal with the absurdity of corporate culture. If you need a corporate executive to laugh at that won’t get you fired, T. J. is here for you.

book, books, book review, humor, office humor, management, corporate, funny