While Akismet does a great job catching most of the spam that comes to my blog through comments (it’s successfully stopping around 500/day lately) it remains less than perfect. In his typically pithy manor Don Burleson has come up with a solution.

Forget about those images full of letters that are so wavy and distorted that humans can’t even read them. Don has come up with a more creative way to verify that there’s a living, breathing human on the other side of the cloud. Don’s questions are so sophisticated they can even verify that the person has a similar political outlook to yours.

Verification question

Check out the full article on Don’s site for several more great examples.

spam, blog, blogging, funny, humor

Like George Carlin words are an interest of mine, not a hobby, hobbies cost money. When my mother sent me these results from a Washington Post contest I knew I’d have to share.

The contest invited readers to take a word from the English language and by adding, removing or changing only one letter create a new word. The results are pure genius.

The following are reposted from the Washington Post. I’ve stared (*) my favorites.

Fifth Runner-Up: Foreploy*: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Fourth Runner-Up: Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Third Runner-Up: Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Second Runner-Up: Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. (David Genser, Arlington)

First Runner-Up: Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous “Surrender Dorothy” on the Beltway overpass. (Robin D. Grove, Arlington)

And the winner of the two-foot-high baby bottle:

Sarchasm*: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Necronancy: communication with the late Ernie Bushmiller. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Coiterie: a very very close-knit group. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Whitetater: a political hot potato. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Impotience*: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh pit. (Philip Delduke, Bethesda)

Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Stupfather: Woody Allen. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

DIOS: the one true operating system. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Inoculatte*: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Thripp: a bug. (Bee Perrin, Washington)

Hipatitis: terminal coolness. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Writer’s tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Guillozine: a magazine for executioners. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

Osteopornosis*: a degenerate disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Adulatery: cheating on one’s wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Emasculathe: a tool for castration. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like a serious bummer. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man’s front pocket. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Glibido: all talk and no action. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Antifun gal: a prude. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Eunouch: the pain of castration. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett park)

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

Hozone: the area around 14th Street. (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

Acme: a generic skin disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Dopeler effect*: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Intaxication*: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Newtspaper: the Washington Times. (Fil Feit, Annandale)

Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool. (Elizabeth Monte, Fairfax)

Synapple: a perfect beverage to accompany brain food. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Socceur: the proper spelling of the sport for the next four years, alas. (Kevin Eade, Columbia)

And Lust: an unseemly craving for this position in the column. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

word, fun, funny, wordplay, definition, language, english

Here’s an oldie but a goodie. Think you can tell the difference between a programming language inventor and a serial killer just from a picture? Take the test and see.

Take the Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer Quiz.

Compliments of Matt Round’s weblog. If you’re into web design check out his main page. It’s quite a bit different from your average blog.

Thanks to Don Burleson for sending this on to me.

fun, funny, quiz, programming language, programming, development

Don't climb in here

For the tenth year in a row the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has held their Wacky Warning Labels Contest. According to their site the contest is conducted by the group “to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products.”

This year’s winner from shown here on a washing machine wisely advises “DO NOT put any person in this washer.” Good advice? Sure, but I love that M-LAW has taken it upon themselves to point out how foolish this type of warning really is. Personally I think the funniest part is that it specifies “this washer” which on some level implies there is a washer that it is safe to put a person in.

On the other hand I can’t help but think of when the Free Beer and Hot Wings show gave their producer a ride in a big clothes dryer. Of course no warning label would have stopped them anyway.

So before you microwave your cell phone or iron your winning lottery ticket check out this year’s top 5. Also worth a scan is the list of past winners. I’ve thought about sending them the box to my drinking bird but never quite got around to it.

Thanks to Don Burleson for letting me know the new winners were in!

fun, funny, warning, warning label, law suit, legal, disclaimer

B-Movie VictimsA little late for Christmas, but here’s a site with some neat, out of the ordinary gifts.

Shakespeare’s Den offers an unusual selection of gifts in the areas of theatre, writing, art, music, dance and film. There is everything from pen sets to the Screaming Scream Doll, but it was the Avenging Unicorn and the Horrified B-Movie Victims that I had to get as gifts this year.

Avenging UnicornWhile I had the B-Movie Victims sent directly to a friend who has moved away but I did get the chance to see the Avenging Unicorn, complete with three extra horns and a set of three victims. The victims are a mime, a cranky businessman and a new age lady and all are designed to be impaled on the horn.

Shakespeare’s Den shipped promptly and everything was well packed. Check them out for some unique gifts.

gifts, action figure, writing, art, music, dance, theatre

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