Things you don’t want to hear on an airplane

Work has me traveling more than usual right now and I’ve been spending quite a bit of time on a airplane. The following are some things I’ve heard on recent flights that didn’t exactly fill me with confidence:

Overheard between two flight attendants while boarding: “Well, so much for an on-time departure.”

Over the intercom before takeoff: “We’re going to have to ask everyone to close the shades on your windows to help keep it from getting too hot. We’re going to be without air conditioning for a while.”

A mother in the seat in front of me talking to her young child: “Does your tummy feel better since you had that pizza?”

If you’ve heard something you didn’t like on an airplane please leave a comment.

funny, fun, airplane, airline, travel

3 thoughts on “Things you don’t want to hear on an airplane”

  1. That pizza comment made me lol!!

    On a NWA flight I was on from Detroit to Vegas for a business/vacation trip last Nov., an elderly woman got on the plane and sat in the seat next to me, and promptly turned to me and said “I apologize, I have a terrible cold, I’ll try not to cough on you”. ARGH!!!! The whole flight she coughed away. I made sure to turn away whenever she coughed and proceded to use hand sanitizer gel often during the flight. Fortunately, I managed to not catch whatever disease she was carrying around with her. Whew…

    After that flight, my hairdresser gave me the following advice and it works like a charm. Try to flying airlines like Southwest so you can pick your seat. When checking in at the airport, ask if the flight is full? Even if there are only a few open seats, the following maneuver guarantees you one of those coveted empty seats remaining open next to you.

    Choose two open seats together as the plane is still boarding. The moment you sit down, place your pocketbook, breifcase, or laptop case in the open seat next you, and immediately get on your phone and make a phone call or pretend to make a call. Be sure to never once look up from your phone and make sure not to make eye contact with other people boarding the plane. Once you are absolutely sure everyone is in their seats, then, and only then, close your phone sit back and enjoy your nice roomy flght..

  2. I was once sitting in Logan Int’l and struck up a conversation with the woman next to me. We proceeded to trade flight stories. One of hers that has stuck in my mind is this.

    She said that once she had a flight from Cincinnati to Portland, Maine. At the half-way point of the flight the pilot announced over the intercom that they were losing tire pressure in the front tire and had to turn around and go back to Cincinnati. All of the passengers inquired why, if they were already half-way anyway, could they not just continue on to Portland? The reply was that Portland was not equipped for the type of disaster that could potentially result from the under inflated tire.

    This one is my story though. When boarding the plane through that long extenda-walkway thingie, just outside the door of the aircraft was the toilet. Not just the seat, or the bowl, but the complete wall unit. This was a small aircraft – the type with only one lavatory. The big man next to me said, “Uh oh…. that’s not a good sign”.

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