New Word Contest

Like George Carlin words are an interest of mine, not a hobby, hobbies cost money. When my mother sent me these results from a Washington Post contest I knew I’d have to share.

The contest invited readers to take a word from the English language and by adding, removing or changing only one letter create a new word. The results are pure genius.

The following are reposted from the Washington Post. I’ve stared (*) my favorites.

Fifth Runner-Up: Foreploy*: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Fourth Runner-Up: Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Third Runner-Up: Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Second Runner-Up: Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. (David Genser, Arlington)

First Runner-Up: Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous “Surrender Dorothy” on the Beltway overpass. (Robin D. Grove, Arlington)

And the winner of the two-foot-high baby bottle:

Sarchasm*: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Necronancy: communication with the late Ernie Bushmiller. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Coiterie: a very very close-knit group. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Whitetater: a political hot potato. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Impotience*: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh pit. (Philip Delduke, Bethesda)

Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Stupfather: Woody Allen. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

DIOS: the one true operating system. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Inoculatte*: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Thripp: a bug. (Bee Perrin, Washington)

Hipatitis: terminal coolness. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Writer’s tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Guillozine: a magazine for executioners. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

Osteopornosis*: a degenerate disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Adulatery: cheating on one’s wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Emasculathe: a tool for castration. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like a serious bummer. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man’s front pocket. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Glibido: all talk and no action. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Antifun gal: a prude. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Eunouch: the pain of castration. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett park)

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

Hozone: the area around 14th Street. (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

Acme: a generic skin disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Dopeler effect*: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Intaxication*: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Newtspaper: the Washington Times. (Fil Feit, Annandale)

Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool. (Elizabeth Monte, Fairfax)

Synapple: a perfect beverage to accompany brain food. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Socceur: the proper spelling of the sport for the next four years, alas. (Kevin Eade, Columbia)

And Lust: an unseemly craving for this position in the column. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

word, fun, funny, wordplay, definition, language, english

15 thoughts on “New Word Contest”

  1. Wonderful stuff; are there any upcoming Neologism Contests or other word games?

    Thank,

    Keith B.

  2. Testosterozone:atmosphere where large groups of men gather to watch a team sport, usually accompanied by beer and cheap food.

    Boomerlang: words popularized in the ’60s and ’70s by Boomers that never seem to go away but continue to be used(groovy, out of sight,far out, etc.)

  3. Boomerangst: anxiety by Baby Boomers over issues related to getting older such as long term health care, retirement funds, Medicare supplemental insurance, etc.

  4. Toiletrees…the sweet scent of men in the woods.

    Fagazine…..gay mens reading material.

    Cattitude….when your cat thinks it rules the house…and does!!

    Crappachino….your first cup of coffee tastes like sh*t.

    Whinery……a bistro for crying winos.

    Rigalotto…the new Mafia bingo game.

  5. I have a new word for your consideration:

    SENTIVENT = expressing your feelings loudly to nobody in particular.

  6. Dieat- Digest food while eating.

    Exdress- A faster method to get dressed.

    Presmoke- A dub on a cigarette that you smoke before actually smoking to reduce the dangers of smoking.; less harmful cigarette.

  7. Got three for consideration…

    OVERWHELMED + R

    Roverwhelmed – being totally incapable of dealing with your dog.

    PRIORITIZE + R

    Prioritrize – all your feeble, pointless attempts to bring order to your life.

    INSTINCT + K

    Inkstinct – the uncanny ability to ‘just know’ that signing that contract is a mistake.

  8. Nuncomfortable—the particular bodily and/or erotic shame experienced by those whose formative years were spent in a Catholic parochial school.

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